Dealing with Negativity
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I’m not exactly sure if I should be posting this here, but I think it is a topic that a lot of us in the Health and Wellness Care field have to deal with way more often than we’d like: Negativity.
I have dealt with it before, and you never get used to it. You just expect it after a while. I still don’t know exactly how to deal with it, and most of the time now when someone “challenges” me and what I do professionally, I tend to just walk away or just ignore them.
But what really grinds my gears is when a patient is making such tremendous progress, to the point of total transformation, and their friends and/or family are just so over the top negative about it. They would say such horrible things and yet the patient is just so discouraged by “conventional” treatments and therapies that simply don’t work at all. They are sick of their medical professionals not taking any time to listen to them, or even explain test reports. I’ve had GI Patients come to me who spent tens of thousands of dollars at these prestigious clinics with no results, and in a few months we “fixed” the problem. I currently have a patient now who is a totally transformed person, healthy physically and now mentally, and this person’s friends can’t seem to find a single nice thing to say about me, and I have never met them. It is so frustrating and demoralizing that the biggest obstacles that many of my patients face are their own loved ones.
Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with friends or family of patients that just refuse to admit that this is good work?
Michael,
I think most integrative health practitioners have all had to deal with this before. I know that I have. In most circumstances I ignore the comments as its obvious they come from people with no training, health assessment and treatment skills and total lack of intelligence. In a few circumstances I have just confronted the accuser with what problems they have with their friend or family member getting better. Why do they want to see them continue with treatments that haven’t worked and continue to suffer. This usually puts them on the defensive.
Many of these types of people are just miserable themselves and don’t want to confront their own poor health choices and lifestyles. When it comes to these individuals the statement “misery loves company” couldn’t be more true.
Each situation is different and I don’t have a perfect answer for every comment, but I think turning the table on them and asking them why they are so negative makes them uncomfortable and usually shouts them up. At the end of the day some people are just assholes and I try not to waste a lot of energy on them.
Dr. Woeller
That’s really a great answer, Dr Woeller, thank you.
I think a lot of it is jealousy. They see other people improving and it makes them mad, so instead of making a few different decisions about their own lives, they try to bring others down to their level. Or maybe some people just want to get into a fight, or maybe they watch too much TV.
I think it becomes a real problem when it is institutional, when a patient has an MD that tells them “Vitamins cause cancer” or “Food allergies don’t exist”, or those that actually take action AGAINST the nutritional aspect of medicine and try to get laws pass to essentially ban this stuff. It reminds me of the movie “Doctored” where the AMA did everything they could to try and get Chiropractic banned in the US. Those people are A-Holes on a whole new level.
Michael your post sounds like I wrote it and I have had clients quit my care (even when they were doing better) because of their family members. When it comes to husband/wife I always ask if they have support and if they don’t I tell them upfront that it might be a difficult battle for them. I won’t see children unless it is certain that both parents are on board with my work. There have only been a few who I declined to see after meeting the partner and asking if the patient could handle the negativity and when they said no then I suggested that we back up and work on nutrition first and give them food logs and a month out apt. Usually they don’t come back. Luckily its been few and far between on those cases. I like Dr. KW’s response and will use that as well minus the french label. LOL (but I have had those same thoughts myself). BTW, I love the down to earth response from another practitioner!
I get testimonials from clients and remind myself of those who have succeeded and felt better working with me. They are the ones that can fuel our passion and make us feel blessed for the skills we have worked hard and invested in to attain.
Yes. Jealously is a big part of it.
I once heard an medical doctor talk about how diet had nothing to do with health. Unbelievable.
The AMA years ago try to ban osteopaths too. Interesting side note, if you look up the history of “quackery” it was originally used against untrained dentists who put amalgam in peoples teeth. These “quacks” went on to form organizations which eventually became the American Dental Association.
Dr. Woeller
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